I express anger in many ways. There are definitely times where I just blow up. That is when I have kept so many feelings inside and I can’t keep them in anymore. It could be a very simple thing that someone says to me that sets me off, and makes me blow up. There are also many times where I am very calm when someone tells me something that should upset me. I remember a couple years ago when my boyfriend at the time told me he cheated on me and I was just like “ok, see ya later!” I wasn’t mad or anything. I just kind of laughed and walked away. I guess that shows that he didn’t mean a whole bunch to me J. But, there are also times where I am very mad on the inside. I am talking fuming mad and I don’t say a word or let the person see me mad. When I express my anger in a blow up fashion, it usually doesn’t go over well because it just makes the other person blow up too. When I express my anger calmly its like the other person hates it and gets even madder. When I don’t express my anger at all and hold it in, I get even madder when I am alone because I should have said something. So, I feel like it’s a lose-lose situation.
I have experienced exactly the same scenarios. When we "fly off the handle" over something small, we are feeling hyper stressed, which in plain speak means we are on overload. The mutual blowing up is what the text calls schysmogenisus (good grief how the ...do you spell that word?)which is the escalating effect in competitive conflicts. But the whole expressing your anger calmly which makes them madder is my favorite scenario. It just seems so ludicrous. But some people need to feel like they have control to such a degree that they are infuriated when they can't force you to react. So chalk that one up to "it takes two to make a resolution." The hyper stress and getting caught up in competitive conflicts we can work on though.
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